I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
