we're chasing vodka with high fives
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
