This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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