this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
