I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
