I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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