I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
