hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
