Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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