I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
