it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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