Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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