i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As shirtless as possible
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
