I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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