you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
