i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
