I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize