I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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