he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize