just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
