I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
