btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
