so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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