dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
