May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
