can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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