Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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