Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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