she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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