i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize