I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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