That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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