he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize