Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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