Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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