i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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