there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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