I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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