Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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