I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Say something about gay babies.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize