TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
