Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
