i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So vagazzling was a success
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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