I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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