why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
