What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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