I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
