their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
