Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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