she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
