I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
false alarm. still invincible.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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