I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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