I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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