I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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